I make junk in Source Filmmaker, and I consider it a form of art. I got into it, because of a few reasons.
Throughout my life I’ve dealt with crippling self confidence issues. These feelings were constantly reinforced by a strong lack of understanding from my family.
The only real escape I had, was video games and movies. There were a lot of stories that resonated with me, and a lot of my fondest memories are stored in a box of VHS tapes and old games. Later as times changed, and I moved away from home. I found my new escape on the internet.
I found many a great artist, with much of their work reminding me of those days. I’ve always had a big imagination, and always love to make things. Even though I can not draw a straight line to save my life.
I’ve never been one for commissioning art. Thanks to my self-confidence issues. It also doesn’t help, that I know my family would never approve of such things. There’s actually a time, when I truly believe I could never do anything right. I don’t like commissioning artists for asking for requests, because I don’t want to be a burden. I’d be terrified of saying something wrong.
And that’s where Source Filmmaker comes in. Not only was it free, but it fit right into my interests, plus with the sheer variety of models available. I found a way to finally bring some of my ideas into the light.
I worked with the program, for a few years. Never really uploading anything, just stashing the various posters on my hard drive. In that time I’ve made a couple of friends who shared my interests. they encouraged me to start uploading some of my art.
I did, and without knowing, started something that would change my life.
The majority of what I uploaded we’re experiments and just general randomness, but after only a few uploads. Something happened. I started getting requests.
A few people messaged me, asking me to make art for them. I did, although in my mind I’m pretty sure my thoughts were. “Wth? Why are you asking me? Pretty much anyone else could do better.”
And then, another person on Discord, messaged me. They asked me if I did commissions. My thoughts were exactly. “Why in the world would you want to pay money for what I make?”
I politely told them, that didn’t feel I was good enough to charge money. They insisted, and even presented an offer.
And thanks to this, as well as the help of some of my friends. I finally began building my confidence, and finding value in myself.
I set a few boundaries on what I am willing to do. Also found out that most of the people who were asking for requests, we’re just doing so because they are free.
But the best thing of all, about this journey I’ve embarked on. I’m finally in a place, where I feel like I can accomplish something. I’m finally able to get some of the ideas I’ve had in my head for so long, in a tangible form. I feel much better about myself, as well.
I highly doubt I would be where I am, today if it weren’t for my art.
That’s my story. What’s yours? What inspired you to begin making art?
I would love to know! ^^